I remembered this dream when I walked down to my basement yesterday. I dreamt that the basement was flooded and my mom is reminding me that I need to go down and mop it all up.
What is happiness?
- A balance of free time and working at something you love
- Having enough money for everything you need
- Finding true connection with another person
What is femininity?
- Softness: What is soft about me today?
- Caring: How can I help today?
- Intelligence: What can I learn today?
I had nothing that I had to do this Monday but sleep in and relax. The weather was absolutely beautiful, perfect for opening all the windows. Really enjoying my house today.
My only Tuesday appointment at the salon cancelled and now I have an extra day to relax! The weather is soooo beautiful and my back yard looks great! All my chores are done for the week.
I ended up getting on camera Tuesday and having an amazing night, a lot like the short I had written earlier.
My cat had injured himself a couple weeks back and he is finally back to normal again. I’m so glad to see him feeling better.
It is officially summer and the days are long. I love sitting out back when I get home from work.
I made it to yoga four times this week and my body felt amazing.
Woke up in a bad mood Friday, heavy with everyone’s shit from my day job. But I napped after yoga and woke up feeling the opposite, like I got a second chance to start my day.
Had a really good night on camera Friday, got to spend time with a lot of my regulars. I love how busy my room has been since that awesome party I did last weekend.
I didn’t feel completely drained after the salon Saturday. It was nice to have one of those rare days where people actually make me feel good in the salon.
One of my clients traded me some bud for her nails and she gave it to me in an Easter egg. I have been calling her Miss Bunny now haha.
I found an amazing bra that fits me perfect and it actually sexy. I also found the perfect pillows for the living room and a really cute top.
I went to the grocery store without a bra on and made like 10 guys almost walk into a wall.
My plants are actually growing! Except the hostas, I think they are getting too much sunlight.
I realized this week that I want to quit my nail job after the summer. I am afraid, but I think I need to do it.
She opens her room for the night, shoulders back sitting tall with confidence. The mood is relaxed, but with excitement. Her crown sits perfectly atop her silky hair, she is the Queen of the night. No one dares disrespect her for they will have at least a dozen men attack them at once. Her admirers surround her like a fortress, ready to give anything just to be in her presence. Her nipples press hard through her sheer bodysuit. Her look is stunning, fit and glowing with natural beauty. Her body moves before their eyes, a display of sexuality and art. Strict and sensual, she guides them through the night, filling them with pleasure and pain. Her time is pricelesss and nearly impossible to obtain. Teasing and toying with them she becomes rampant and filled with desire. She can barely take anymore as the sunrise begins to glow through her window… and that’s when it arrives. Her toes curl in ecstasy as they reach the moment they have all been longing for. She curls up in the mountain of pillows behind her, messy and content from her work, and her eyes flutter shut as she remembers how grateful she is to be constantly showered with gifts and love.
I don’t remember the beginning of the dream, but I had a fight with one of my friends and I felt she owed me an apology. She shows up at my door and when I open it she walks up close to me. The background kind of fades around her and she say I’m sorry right before she jams a syringe the size of a turkey baster hard into my stomach and I have no idea what she is injecting me with. My stomach is cramping and I say, “What are you doing, what is that?” I’m standing there holding my stomach, it’s starting to hurt really bad and then I wake up.
A bit late with this post, sorry guys! It’s been a busy weekend and I needed some extra time to recover.
I squirted! I knew I could do it.
One of my cam clients wrote me a poem, which is sweet in itself, but when I read it I was actually blown away. It was the most beautifully accurate description of me, I could see how much thought actually went into it. He sees the rainbow inside me.
Finally cleared the air about the dogs in the salon issue. I win. No dogs.
I noticed an important pattern in my behavior this morning when I started my period early. Before I get my period I spend money like crazy. Must find better way to regulate brain chemistry.
Cleared the air about my “friend” taking my soundbar and lying about buying my tv and stand, which was the deal for me giving it to her. She will be returning it tomorrow and I feel much better now.
I am realizing that I need to speak up when people try to do me wrong and not back down when they try to lie their way out of it either. I had a huge epiphany for the next part of my sleeve after all the annoying things that happened this week. I love seeing the reason for it all 🙂
One of my nail clients said that during her appointment she was able to talk about the recent death in her family and actually cry. I said I was flattered she felt comfortable enough with me to let go and her response was so touching. She said, “Come on, have you met you?!”
I had my best day on camera Friday, and then i topped that day on Sunday! And I got 4 new badges from the site, which are like little milestones. It’s happening and I am present to witness and enjoy it!
I met someone in my room who is actually really awesome and attractive. Weird amount of things in common with me….
When I started camming, I felt that I needed my nail job as a “reality check” because being on felt like such a different world to me. But really, I was just afraid of how much better my life can be. Now I feel like being on camera is where I belong and the salon is this place I am transitioning out of 🙂
I met my mom for a hot yoga class at my favorite studio. It felt very challenging, but I like that.
I made dinner Monday night that was healthy and actually tasted delicious.
I skipped yoga Tuesday which normally makes me sad, but I slept in for the first time since I can remember and I feel a lot better. I need to get more sleep.
I went to calling hours for my cousin and when I looked at her she didn’t really look like herself. She was beautiful and it made me realize how much of that came from what was inside her.
I mowed my grass for the first time since high school and it was weirdly fun and satisfying. It looks soooo much better!
I don’t have a very busy schedule for the weekend which makes me feel good, relaxed and motivated to get on camera 🙂
I paid my rent and all of my bills on time and I still have money left over! This hasn’t happened to me in years!!!!
My cat didn’t wake me up early this morning and I actually got to sleep the whole night through. I feel so refreshed and grateful that he is finally adjusting to my new sleep schedule.
I have been craving healthy foods this week, I’m thinking that hot yoga class detoxes me a bit. I’ll take it.
I took a more advanced class at my favorite yoga studio and it felt amazing! The teacher said I did really well, which made me feel good. I also can’t remember the last time I slept so great.
I had one of my best nights on camera yet and I made most of my money in chat! I had a very successful party that went on for almost my whole shift!!! And I immediately went private when I ended it, a nice long one too 🙂
I started showing my whole body on camera instead of just my shoulders up and I actually feel comfortable to do so for the first time ever.